It’s the holiday season again. You’re sipping your coffee when your phone buzzes — “Hosting Thanksgiving at 6pm!” texts Peggy, your mother-in-law. A moment later, another notification: “Cutting the turkey at 3pm!” from your dad. And…they keep coming with cousin Tony: “It’s time for our annual T-Day flag football game at noon! Don’t miss it!”
We’ve all been there. The holidays start getting planned for us before we even realize it. Then the day arrives, and we’re gone from 9am to 9pm, bouncing from one house to another, wondering where the time went. You just wanted to enjoy a cozy meal and come home with your partner to watch a movie — but instead, you were everywhere except present.
Here’s the truth: it’s okay to set boundaries around the holidays. It’s okay to share time between families. It’s okay to break traditions. And yes — it’s okay to do what you want.
But then comes the guilt, right? “Aunt Julie’s in town this year.” Or, “It might be Grandma’s last.” We can’t make everyone happy — and we can’t do it all.
Boundaries come in many forms — physical, emotional, intellectual, material, financial, and time. Each one protects your well-being and helps you stay centered during the busy season.
Physical boundaries might mean limiting travel or choosing where you spend your time.
Emotional boundaries protect your peace — choosing not to engage in draining conversations or take on others’ stress.
Intellectual boundaries allow you to hold your own opinions, even when family disagrees.
Material and financial boundaries might look like spending within your means or simplifying gift-giving.
Time boundaries — perhaps the hardest — involve deciding when to arrive, how long to stay, and when to leave.
As invitations and expectations start rolling in, take a pause before automatically saying “yes.” Reflect on what truly matters to you and what the holiday represents. Is it about connection, rest, tradition, or gratitude? Once you know your why, it becomes easier to say no to what doesn’t fit.
Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re guideposts. They help you show up with presence, not pressure. When you honor them, you create space for joy, peace, and authenticity — not obligation — to define your holiday experience.
Ask yourself: Is this important to me? Why? How do I want to feel that day? Then choose actions that align with those answers. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish — it’s how you protect what matters most about the season.
Written By: Melaney Yednock (Thurman), LPCC-S
To begin therapy with Melaney, please reach out to Melaney Yednock (Thurman), LPCC-S or call our office 614-360-2600.
